There are lots of non-therapeutic things that I consider therapy: dancing, my Oasis time with Mr. Wonderful (which sounds fancy but it’s really just our room sans children), baths, shopping, the inhalation of copious amounts of powdered sugar doughnuts. Maybe some of them in a combo situation.
As the Mama of my house, I occasionally feel the need for some of these specialized types of therapy. Today is such a day. We started out this week kind of rough and ragged and I just looked at the calendar and realized it’s only Tuesday. How is that possible?! At least four and a half days have passed since yesterday, I’m certain.
I woke up in the throes of overwhelmingness to the point of paralysis this morning. Have you ever been there? Where the To Do List is so long but the day is so short and tightly packed that you just. Can’t. Move.
I’m still swimming through mud.
And now I’m actually at a therapy appointment…of the speech variety. Once a week one of my sons goes to speech therapy to help with all kinds of physical swallowing and speaking issues and also for an auditory processing issue.
Can I tell you how happy I am to be here?
You may not believe me, but I’m so grateful. We’ve been struggling in our family to both understand this beautiful boy and to get him to be able to focus. Or listen. Or follow directions.
There are a lot of kids in our house so I’m going to need you to follow directions!
We went through all of the frustration and testing and pulling our hair out and hoping for answers. And then, like a miracle, here we are.
So I’m pretty excited.
And I’m trying to tell myself that this day, through the mud swimming and To Do Lists and my work junk piled on Mr. Wonderful’s desk (because it’s overrun my own), is still a day I won’t get back.
I’m starting a little late with this pep talk as it’s almost 4:00 pm, but as I’m a late bloomer in various other aspects of my life, this isn’t surprising.
Mr. Wonderful calls me the Good Idea Fairy. And she usually runs late. Which means I have a great idea a split second after it should’ve been implemented. Thank goodness Mr. Wonderful’s pretty patient.
I feel like I’m even writing in mud. My thoughts are stringing themselves together without supervision. Every letter of every sentence is t.a.k.i.n.g. f.o.r.e.v.e.r………..
There’s a good chance I may not even finish this post.
If I do, here’s what I want you to know: it’s ok to be where you are. Right now. Today. All you can do is all you can do is one of our family mottos. And it’s ok to make progress by degrees instead of leaps and bounds.
And sometimes progress involves sitting down in one place for five minutes to catch your breath.
Embrace this place.
Surrender to the moment so you can live in each one. Learn what you can even in the ratty places and the stinky places and the boring places. It will make even those places ones of grace, despite being hard and a place you’d rather not be.
I don’t know when I’ll get my rhythm back. I’m hoping in about 15 minutes but if its not til tomorrow or next week or even next month it’ll be ok.
Because I’m going to learn from here. I’m going to take care of myself by indulging in any and probably all of my therapies. And I’m going to remember to breathe.
And sit still for a moment.
Probably while eating a powdered sugar doughnut.
And that will be good enough.
Copyright Meredith Shafer 2015