Poopmageddon: A True Story

As you may have guessed by the title this is not going to be a sweet post. Disclaimer: sometimes my life is disgusting and I’m all about sharing.

I woke up early this morning so I could grab some alone time/writing time/coffee time. All of this is necessary if I’m going to be recognizable as myself. Especially the coffee part. And I have found that writing a book is a solo affair. I keep getting up earlier and earlier to beat my children awake because otherwise they are all up in my business which means I’m trying to write while someone is breathing and chewing loudly and asking me if I think The Hulk could beat up Superman in a fight. (Of course he couldn’t; he’s strong but Superman is strong, can fly and can leap tall buildings in a single bound. Duh.)

But I digress.

I had managed one cup of coffee and minimal writing on my next book (shameless plug: coming out next year!) when I heard my Littles awake. I made breakfast for them and then went to get them from upstairs.

Little Sister was already skipping happily down the stairs singing a song about poop. I’m starting to realize that if I want to truly know what’s going on with my kids I should listen to her little ditties. They are somewhat based in the actual circumstances going on in and through the house, so when she’s singing a song about bugs or mice or spiders or poop, I should tune in.

The smell in the baby’s room when I opened the door was like a sucker punch to my sinus cavity. Holy poopstorm Batman! It appeared to be everywhere. My eyes could barely take it all in. And there was Baby Boy, happily jumping up and down in the filth.

Now as a Mama I have seen and dealt with some disgusting things. But this put even the Poop Debaucle of 2012 to shame.

This was Poopmageddon.

No matter what type of training or college or experience you have, nothing prepares you for something like this. The smells, the sights, the amazement at the locations of said poop was so astounding. It was like he invited three of his baby friends over for a poop party-I have never seen so much of the stuff in my life!

So I did what every Mama does in this situation. I steeled my gag reflex, rolled up my sleeves, and got to work giving the baby a bath (such a waste of that bath last night!), doing laundry and burning everything else. I even had to call in reinforcements-Mr. Wonderful was half awake but he got to work as well.

This was definitely not on my Monday To Do List.

Now that everyone is clean and shiny again (only for a moment, I’m sure), I’m relaxing with my second cup of coffee until tomorrow. I wish. Let’s be real, until the next time there’s a disaster.

Maybe we should see who would win in a fight between a Mama and Superman. 

My money’s on the Mama.

#Mama #Superman #Thehulk #Batman #superheroes #disaster #mypinkchampagnelife #amwriting #motherhood 

(Photo credit Meredith Shafer 2015) ©Copyright Meredith Shafer 2015. I would love to connect with you in Instagram @MyPinkChampagneLife and Twitter @MyPinkChampLife. Swing by and say hello!

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7 thoughts on “Poopmageddon: A True Story

  1. I usually can detect THAT smell before I get a glimpse of the kiddo…praying the whole time it isn’t all over everything. I can imagine the mess you had! I have had that happen before, too, when they need a bath (that time was actually throw up) before the other kid needed to be at school. Never a dull moment! Needless to say, I felt very accomplished I actually got Trey to school on time that day, despite the unplanned mess. I’d like to see Superman do that! Bahaha!

    Liked by 1 person

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