Too Fast

He wants so badly to be just like his big brothers, following in their footsteps, growing up all too fast.

Summer is almost over and all my babies are getting bigger. Moving up a grade. Changing and growing inch by inch into the people they’ll become someday. There’s nothing like the end of summer to help me celebrate the good times we’ve had while reminding me with a steady metronome-like beat that time does, indeed, march on.

And it’s moving at a pace I don’t like anymore. As a kid I used to wish to be bigger or older of faster or taller or driving or R-rated movie going or college age or drinking age or adultish or independent. And I became all of those things almost without noticing.

But now that my babies are swept into that same march of time, I’m not sure I like it. I just want to stall for a bit, throw a rock into the gears and grind them to a halt so I can enjoy these moments for just a moment longer. So I can cling like a crazy woman to the ages and stages my children are in before they move on to the next one, each progressive stage coming sooner and being shorter than I’m comfortable with.

But no one asked me. 

So I steal the moments and make the memories where I can, celebrating with my happy dance every chance I get. Because they are only this exact age at this exact moment for all of time. And I’m going to embrace it, love it, enjoy it, and hold onto it for as long as I can.

(Photo credit Meredith Shafer 2015) ┬ęCopyright Meredith Shafer 2015

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Take Me to Church

I just realized we’re only a week into Lent. Sometimes I get in my weird Time Warp and it seems like either 1) I have plenty of time to cram more things in or 2) more time should have already passed because this is TAKING FOREVER.

Right now I’m in the latter Time Warp.

Has it only been seven days since I decided to actually give something up this year? A long time ago when I decided to do a lot of internal cleaning out and dusting and general spiffy-ing up, I gave up giving up things for Lent. 

I wanted to focus on the Jesus part of my faith rather than religion. I wanted to have a clearer, cleaner version of myself walking around and I honestly didn’t feel like I needed Lent to tell me what to do. In fact, at the time, I really just wanted to tell Lent to shut up and mind it’s own business.

Growing up in a mainline denomination I had always participated in Lent. Mostly half-heartedly. It was usually a grudging-give-up-something-I-barely-enjoy-even-on-the-fringe-of-my-life-and-then-at-Easter-I’ll-celebrate-getting-it-back type of participation.

I totally missed the point.

So instead of hindering myself with the whole Lent business in more recent years, I did the (Holy) baby out with the bath water thing. I figured it was less hypocritical of me.

As I grow in my spiritual walk, I realize that there are things from “organized religion” that I could use to focus myself on the approach of the Easter season. Could Lent be one of those things? I kept saying no because it felt too forced, to religion-y.

This year was different though. With all of the ways my time, my attention, my life is splintered, I needed some focus. I needed to rethink Lent.

Now I’m no expert. Either on rethinking things or on Lent. But I’m always trying to grow. And learn. And stretch myself. I want to be a better version of me. I need to be a better version of me.

So on Fat Tuesday (the day before the beginning of Lent), I decided to take a leap. And participate again in the giving up of things. Not so much as a sacrifice on my part. I mean, let’s be real-how much does God care that I’m not going to drink a Coke for 40 days? 

Sidebar: giving up Coca-Cola, which is the ultimate treat for me, has not been a barrel of laughs. But I digress.

I am doing the giving up of things for Lent as a reminder of Jesus’ sacrifice for me. We have a great relationship, Jesus and I. He’s my brother, my best friend. And I want to be reminded of our relationship when I reach for the Coke that I can’t have.

And each time I pass it by, I’ll remember how awesome of a thing it is for someone to lay down his life for his friends.

And I will have gratitude. 

I will share grace.

And I will get that much closer to being better, getting stronger, giving more and living sweeter.

That will be how I do Lent this year.

Copyright Meredith Shafer 2015

(Photo credit David Sebben, Pinterest.)