Second Chances

Three years ago this very day life as I knew it ended.

All of the hopes and dreams I had for my family came crashing down in our kids’ treehouse, of all places. It was in that treehouse, lovingly constructed from scraps of both lumber and time by Mr. Wonderful, that I found my soul mate right before he was about to take his own life.

You see, life had gotten so bad for him that suicide seemed like the only way to make his pain go away. 

The drinking hadn’t done it. 

The prescriptions and doctors on base hadn’t done it. 

His family hadn’t done it.

He soldiered on so well that I didn’t realize how badly he was hurting until it was almost too late. Minutes were the difference in our case-the difference between our story being about second chances and it being about what life is like as a military widow raising four kids all by myself. The difference between my kids knowing their dad and wondering what he was like.(photo cred Meredith Shafer 2016)

When I found Mr. Wonderful with a half drunk bottle of vodka writing his goodbye notes, all I knew to do was beg God to save him. To save us. 

I hadn’t even seen the loaded shotgun yet.

I just knew from climbing my very pregnant belly up to that second-story treehouse and feeling the sadness and pain radiate off of him that we were fighting for time.

That treehouse was meant to be our end. Instead, somehow God used it to start something brand new for us, to give us a chance at a second chance. Miraculously our ending was re-written at the last possible minute. We got a second act by the grace of God. 

It’s surely a miracle that the very pregnant girl was able to get the drunk, suicidal 6’6″ 330 pound soldier who was more than twice her size out of the treehouse, onto solid ground and into treatment.

It’s surely a miracle that Mr. Wonderful was sent to a treatment for a few months that would help save his life, restore his mind, begin his sobriety.

It’s surely a miracle that we have had 1,095 bonus days, second chances, extra time.

And though it hasn’t been an easy road over the last three years, I am grateful for every one of those 1,095 days. I count myself blessed despite the PTSD diagnoses, the caregiving, the crushing blows, the doctor’s appointments, the setbacks, the fights with the VA, and the new normal we find ourselves in. Even the worst days in the last three years have been a blessing, because they have been the second chance I couldn’t imagine from my viewpoint in that treehouse.

September is National Suicide Prevention month. Twenty-two military a day take their lives. If more if us speak up, tell the story with no shame, maybe we can break this stigma against mental illness and invisible wounds. Maybe we can convince hurting people to ask for help. Maybe we can reach out to those around us.


Ask someone if they’re ok. Care about people. Walk through this world with more kindness and less judgment. 

You could be the difference in someone’s story-


💗❤️💗

©Copyright Meredith Shafer 2016.

For more info about our story, to check about speaking engagements or to find me on social media, connect with me at www.meredithshafer.com.

Square One

I need a mulligan for this week already! I don’t golf, but as I undertand it, a mulligan is basically like a do-over. 

Yes please.

First my coffee shop closed. Yeah, I was disappointed but I deal. Then I received an email that a friend’s husband had passed away and heard that another dear friend has breast cancer.

And today my husband’s clinic–the Patriot Clinics that serve vets at no cost–closed its doors. Mr. Wonderful has been receiving hyperbaric oxygen chamber treatment for his PTSD and traumatic brain injury and its one of the few things that has had a positive effect on him without the crazy side effects of post meds used to treat the symptoms of PTSD.

The clinic treats vets with diginty and provided treatment that has great results but that the VA and insurance won’t pay for. I don’t know why but I’m sure it has something to do with the almighty dollar. And until they either get their electrical issues resolved or find funds to move to a new place, we’re back at square one for treatment. 

I’m so tired of square one.

Used to when a lot of bad things happened all at once I would just throw a party of the pity kind. Now I realize that when there seem to be so many obstacles and troubles and everything going completely wrong, it’s actually a sign that I’m getting close to whatever it is I’ve been working towards.

Obstacles are meant to keep us down. Trip us up. Make us lose our breath or step or mind. But it’s when those obstacles keep piling up that I know to look around because my miracle is coming.

All this bad news is meant to crush me, to derail me from writing and cheering people on and trying to serve and be a blessing. All this grossness is meant to clog up my soul like a hairball clogs up a sink. 
It won’t work.

I know that our miracles are coming so I am going to keep on keeping on to do my part. I’ll pray. And I’ll keep my chin up and try my best to bring my A game, no matter what obstacles jump into my path.

If you find yourself at square one today, take heart and take hope. Your miracle could be right around the corner too.

(Photo credit Meredith Shafer 2015) ©Copyright Meredith Shafer 2015

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