I’m procrasrinating my editing deadline (finalized manuscript due one week from today people!) and it feels so right. I’m just not in an editing sort of place right now, I have no focus after the craziness of this week and I think I just need a mental break.

So I’m giving myself permission to do just that.

In the meantime I’m celebrating. This week has been full of some really great family moments at our house, and when we have those, we hold on with both hands because we know how elusive things going well can be at times. I’m always a silver lining kid of gal so I’m usually celebrating anything I can get my hands on. This week, however, has held some really special moments.

My kids enjoyed one other’s company. Sure, they fight like cats and dogs but at their cores, they are all best friends. It’s hard to see in the picture but Baby Houdini is riding Big Brother like a horse and Little Brother and Little Sis are making sure he doesn’t fall off. Charlie the Service Dog is also keeping a watchful eye-

(Photo cred Meredith Shafer 2016)

Little Sister did amazing at the dentist, which isn’t news to you but to our family, when we have another kid who has such bad sensory issues the dentist is torture, this was a good day. 

 (photo cred Meredith Shafer 2016)

This week was also Big Brother’s Gotcha Day-the day he was born into our family through adoption twelve years ago. This pic is the moment he was placed into my arms for the first time. It still makes me teary-eyed!😭

 (photo cred Meredith Shafer 2016)

And finally, the kid who has the most struggles in school got a scholastic award for reading! He won the Thunder Reading Challenge for reading the most minutes at his school-well over 700. He told me he was going to win and he did! He read to anyone who would listen, the dog, his siblings. I even saw him reading to one of the neighbor kids… 

 (photo cred Meredith Shafer 2016)

This has been a week where living in the Shafer household has felt more like thriving instead of surviving. That’s a goooooood feeling, one we don’t take lightly around here. Thanks for celebrating with us, it brings me great joy to look around and see that we do indeed have so much to celebrate!

Blessings, friends!💗❤️💗



Building Blocks

In the midst of the crazy at our house, we have a kid who loves Legos. This child doesn’t like to follow instructions; he’s more of a free-lancer when it comes to building. He thinks very creatively and has a big heart and loves him some Jesus. 

I get this kid.

He’s seven so there aren’t a lot of worries or concerns on his end. That is as it should be. He will stop what he’s doing if he hears a great song just to break dance. This is the kid who still runs to give me a hug, who desperately needs snuggles, who longs for everyone to be friends.

He’s also my kid that struggles. With nearly everything. From shoe tying to handwriting to cutting food to controlling his body and his mouth from out-bursting. 

He gets frustrated, we get frustrated. 

This sweet boy who is smart and funny and creative is just starting to get a glimpse at the fact that he is different from his peers. With some sensory issues and auditory processing things going on, sitting in a classroom for hours on end–even with the best teachers–is so excruciating. He is so special, and he is going to do great things. He doesn’t even know yet that he’s a real-life superhero.

We just have to survive school. 

I’ve already had a call this morning from his teacher about his day yesterday. Can I tell you how much of a failure I feel like? She was very kind, and I think she is starting to see that we are all working very hard to make his school experience a positive one. And I am trying my hardest to make sure we are at every therapy available every week, to get him on an IEP, to do all the extra homework and exercises and diet changes. But so far it’s just not enough. It’s hard to feel like doing your best isn’t enough.

I guess I need more patience with the process. Change doesn’t come swiftly enough for this Mama who sees her baby struggling despite his hard work. The struggle is only magnified by the older brother and younger sister to whom things come very easily.

And then I remind myself that because this boy is such a gift to our family, the kid who patiently and creatively puts his Legos together in wonderful and unusual ways, we are using the building blocks of therapies and patience and hugs and stickers for good jobs and excercises and communication and lots and lots of love to help ease his path. 

It may never be as straight and simple as his siblings’ paths, but it has already given him a compassionate heart for helping others.

I guess if you build it, they really will come.

(Photo credit Meredith Shafer 2015) ©Copyright Meredith Shafer 2015

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Something’s Gotta Give

We hit the ground running after our getaway this week. We’ve been back in our regular lives for 24 hours and I’m already tired. Lord love a duck, I’m tired!

Mr. Wonderful had a doctor’s appointment today, one of several that we have each week. More meds added. I wonder if there’s a limit to medication that the human body can handle. There must be, right?

And I worry. I’m not even the worrying type until I look at all of Mr. Wonderful’s meds and realize he’s only 35 and if we continue on this trajectory…well, I can’t even go there.

Today we decided now wasn’t the time for Mr. Wonderful to do school. That takes pressure off him but adds financial pressure to us since he won’t be receiving GI Bill help. It feels as if things are unraveling but I can’t find the thread to clip so the unraveling will stop.

I’m coming unraveled a bit myself. And right now my faith is worn. I had a moment-a tiny second-where I wanted to throw up my hands and cry Uncle! Enough! I have had enough!

The worry at all of our situations piled on the giant mounds of PTSD poo and kid demands and work overload-gah! I just feel like quitting.


I’m no quitter so this isn’t really a viable option. And there are a lot of things going right. I’m sure I’ll make a list of them soon. Right now I need to vent. Because I’m frustrated. Aggravated. Blusterphated. Ok I just made that last one up but I was on a roll there for a second.

I’ve resolved to tell the truth about my world, even when it’s not pretty. Even when there are ugly scars that still need healing. Wounds that need scabbing over. Bruises fading from black to that weird yellow because of the hits life takes at me.

The one thing that I have going for me is that even though I’m a hot mess right now, I’m Jesus’ hot mess. And I’m leaning on his promises that he’ll never leave me. And for today, that is enough. No answers, just promises.

So thanks for listening.

Copyright Meredith Shafer 2015