Doing Something for Myself

I think I’m probably not alone when I say I often let myself fall to the bottom of my To Do List. Mamas and parents in general often do this because we have so many other things that must get done and so many fires to put out that we can’t handle one more thing.

Even taking care of ourselves.

So today I’m doing some good things for me. I’m currently getting my hair done and there’s just nothing better than that to make me feel good about life. 

 (photo cred Stylecaster)

I’m also going to get more coffee. And paint my nails. And in between editing my book and playing with my babies this weekend, I’m going to tidy my office and find some furniture to paint. All of these activities will make me feel happiness in my heart and give me some breathing space. 

 (photo cred ze.nl)

I’m going to have a Ta Da List instead of a To Do List this weekend. I’m going to rest and replenish so I can continue caregiving for my Traveling Circus in all our fast-paced crazy glory.  

 (Photo cred thecolorrun.com)

Do you need to put yourself back on your list? What can you do to give yourself a break today?

Do it. You’ll feel better for taking good care of yourself–

💗💗💗

Swing by Instagram and Twitter to say hi!

Lazy Dayz

I’m enjoying a Saturday with coffee and nowhere to be. I’m loving the roaring fire and the fact that I’m still in my jammies. I am not even going to glance at my To Do list. 

 (Photo cred livelifehappy.com)

We get so busy hurrying and scurrying that we barely make a space in our lives to take a breath sometimes. That kind of pace can’t be sustained, at least not by the likes of me.

I hear my kids jumping around upstairs, I should probably check on the baby as I’ve lost my visual and he’s the kid who does this: 

 (photo cred Meredith Shafer 2016.)

Now you see why I have trouble getting anywhere on time and why I buy only washable marker. 

How cute is he even when he’s a mess???

Enjoying some breathing time today, how about you? How can you un-busy your world to enjoy what’s happening right this minute?

Have a blessed Saturday friends!

Swing by Instagram and Twitter to say hi!

Unravelled

I have this adorable leopard print kimono since they’re all the rage right now and I’m the queen of fashion. Ok, not really but I do love me some leopard print. Kimonos are so versatile-wear them with jeans or shorts or leggings. Can we say love?

Anyway, it has this fringe around the bottom that I’m constantly snagging on things. I’ve actually snagged myself so bad it literally stopped me in my tracks, whipping my various body parts in opposite directions. Now there’s a video that would go viral.

And now there’s a teeny little place where my fringe seems to be coming unravelled. It’s just a small spot really. And I need to find time to fix it but I keep wearing it because 1) it’s so cute and 2) the whole “it goes with everything” thing.

Even though I know that it just takes a little spot to start off the unravelling that becomes the undoing that becomes the big gaping hole.

I’m struggling with this.

I guess you know by now I’m no longer talking about the kimono. 

I’m talking about me.

It’s as if I have to hold myself together so much and so hard and so well that sometimes when a teeny little piece, hardly even noticeable, starts coming undone, it can be the beginning of a major meltdown on my part.

Even when that tiny piece gives way to several other spots that create a chasm that would make the Grand Canyon jealous, I try to plow forward. Don’t stop. Keep pressing on.

Until I can’t.

Today seems to be one of those days. I’ve put my happy face on for my children and my Mr. Wonderful for a few days now, all the while knowing things were slowly coming untied and untethered. And now, at the breaking point, I find that it’s quiet and lonesome, probably as it should be due to the happy face mask I wear sometimes.

I am a real person with real heart pains and brokenness and things left undone. I am not at my best; in fact, I’m really at my least right this minute.

Oh I know things will turn around. I know I need to spend some time pondering the source of my unravelling and begin to sew it up with mindful self care, gratitude, love for myself and others. 

I know what I need to do; I’m just too worn to do it right now.

I’m tired and rambling and just ready for relief. From the To Do List, the jobs, the kids, the PTSD, the technology, My Pink Champagne Life (today it’s tasting more like a whiskey sour, that’s all I’m saying). 

All of it is weighing on me and that curve in the road I talked about earlier today is just looming before me. 

Where is my faith?

Where is the end of this unravelling? 

Where is the me who dreams in rainbows and unicorns? Butterflies and fairies? Whose cup isn’t half full but full to overflowing? Who wears rose-colored glasses and tries to pass them out to everyone around her, like 3D glasses at a movie theatre?

She seems to have left the building in search of her rainbow.

  
(Photo credit Meredith Shafer 2015) ©Copyright Meredith Shafer 2015)

Denial

It’s official, I’m in denial.

I don’t believe I’m going to have a middle schooler this fall. I can’t believe it’s already May. My bitty baby can’t possibly be almost 18 months old. And I don’t believe that my day tomorrow looks like my secretary totally screwed up my calendar. 

Oh wait. I don’t have a secretary-that was me.

Argh! I need to be in two places at once and Mr. Wonderful will be gone and I’m up to my eyeballs in children (literally-my 11 year old is almost looking me in the eye). And of course we have a dentist appointment, a special Mother’s Day celebration (for which each kid has to provide a dozen homemade cookies which means all the moms have to provide the cookies. Does anyone else see the problem here?) and I have a particularly busy work day.

It’s not even tomorrow and I’m tired.

But to attack this day I’m going to have to count my blessings, look for the silver lining, find the pot at the end of the rainbow and all other positive clichés you can think of. 

So here goes.

My baby’s so sweet when he wakes up. He always gives me a tight, lingering hug after I change his diaper in the morning.

And my 7 year old asked if I wanted him to wear a tie to the Mother’s Day celebration. A tie! He’s so excited and it warms my heart.

And Mr. Wonderful gladly takes on extra work to support his family.

And though there’s been bad weather in my area today (tornadoes, flooding, thunderstorms), there haven’t been any fatalities. The strangest thing that happened was a tiger reserve had some damage so everyone living in that area is supposed to stay in their homes as they have not accounted for all the tigers!

So today, in preparation for tomorrow I’m fixing my eyes on good and God and tomorrow is going to be amazing!

©Copyright Meredith Shafer 2015

Writing on Purpose

Since we’ve moved, I’m trying to find my go-to writing spot. My favorite place, Cuppies & Joe is now too far to dash away to whenever I find myself with a bit of time to write.

So I’m auditioning writing spots. Today’s is an epic fail. With four kids underfoot all the time, I need a place with a relaxed vibe, good coffee, a comfy place to sit. The coffee shop I’m in today is for people much cooler than I am. And probably younger.

I’m sitting on a hard metal bench listening to techno music while sipping tea. This is all wrong for me! For some, again those more hip and awesome than the likes of me, this would probably be writing nirvana.

However.

Sidebar: however is just a fancy schmancy way of saying but. I like to throw it in every once in awhile to convince you I’m an authentic writer.

For me I can barely think writerly thoughts. My mind keeps getting caught up in the loop of the nonsensical words and techno beat. Pretty soon my writing is just going to look like beep beep boop. (Nod to WordPress.com there.)

Sigh.

I have to find my spot quickly. I’m supposed to be working on the follow up book to My Pink Champagne Life with a finished manuscript by, oh, January-ish, and my muse, my mojo and my main writing area are missing! Anyone seen my mojo?

Here’s the thing I would encourage all writers with however (there’s that fancy but again): write anyway. Write even when the place is wrong. The words won’t come. The time is short. The To Do List is long. The kids are home. The coffee is cold. The Internet is down. The laundry is calling.

Write when you don’t feel like it and write when you do. Write as if your fingers are on fire. Write when you’re sick and when you’re well and when you feel as if you have nothing to write about.

I promise you this: if you get in the habit of writing no matter what, eventually you will end up with usable words on a page that can turn your dreams and hopes and promises to yourself into that book or article or story that you were meant to write. That only you can tell.

My only advice to writers is the same advice I give to my three year old: 

Use. Your. Words.

Copyright Meredith Shafer 2015