Vacation Mode

Vacation Mode: noun. The inability to manage real life after you get back from vacation, aka, you’re surprised that no one is bringing you copious amounts of delicious food any longer and you’re shocked to be hit square in the face with things like alarm clocks and feeding kids and responsibilities.

(photo cred luvinthesun.com)

This is a real thing, friends. We’ve been back for a week now and I’m struggling to figure out where all these children are supposed to go now that school is out and how I’m supposed to do all of my jobs. Things are so out of whack at the Shafer Casa that I started typing this blog post in my car while waiting for Mr. Wonderful to emerge from the trombone repair shop (with three of the four munchkins having some sort of battle raging behind me) and I finished it a mere eighteen hours later.

What is happening?!

I can’t seem to get it together. For real, I am disorganized, disinterested and since I’ve been under the weather for 48 hours, just done. I’m about twenty minutes from a long soak in the tub followed by some binge-watching followed by absolutely nothing.

Has anyone seen my motivation? I must’ve left it around here somewhere….

Life continues to march on despite knowing full well I can’t get out of Vacation Mode. Little Sister lost her very first tooth today! This is always a big milestone since the Tooth Fairy is the second most discussed visitor right behind Santa. 

And Big Brother lined me up next to him again to see if he’s passed me in height yet. It’s like he wants to know the exact moment that it happens so he can put it on his calendar. Baby Houdini was in rare form with his sweetness on overload. Little Brother made us all laugh until milk came out of some of our noses. Mr. Wonderful took me to the gun range for a date day-these are what we call good times around here!

(Photo cred Meredith Shafer 2016)

So maybe for a little while longer I’ll just have one foot in Vacation Mode and one foot in Real Life. Maybe I won’t get to everything on time (or even at all) but my kids will be fed and happy and I’ll make time for more date days with Mr. W. And we’ll enjoy summer and laughing and fireflies and swimming and I guess all those responsible-type things will get done around it all.

This sounds like a plan, friends-

©Copyright Meredith Shafer 2016. Swing by Instagram and Twitter to say hi!💗❤️💗

Advertisements

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 4

I’m so grateful for my partner in this life. This man has promised to take care of me and this family and despite our daily battles with PTSD and traumatic brain injury, he still gets the job done. His quiet faith inspires me to keep going, no matter the circumstances. 
 This picture sums us up–he’s the steady-handed, eyes on the road anchor to my artsy fartsy fluttering about. I would be lost without this guy, my sweetheart, Mr. Wonderful.😍😘❤️❤️❤️❤️

#husbandandwifeforlife #sweethearts #marriage #partner

(Photo credit Meredith Shafer) ©Copyright Meredith Shafer

Swing by Instagram and Twitter to say hi!

Well Done

Before I was ever an author or a lawyer or a wife or a mama, I was a musician. Being a musician is pretty rad most of the time. Unlike algebra or organization or finance charges, music is one of the few things in this world that I get. It’s a language I speak. It’s so much a part of me that I don’t remember not being able to speak it.

There are times where being a musician is difficult though. Times when only music will do to soothe someone’s pain. As a sensitive musician-type, I already feel the feelings but playing music in this grief scenario is heart-wrenching. Not only do you feel the music but you feel all of the emotion wrapped up in the music, the emotions felt by others, those felt by yourself.

I played at a funeral today for a man taken too soon. He was by all accounts a wonderful husband, father, son, brother, uncle. I’ve known this family for several years and was always impressed with the open love he had for his family, especially for his wife. Truly it’s been a beautiful thing to behold-even after 19 years together they still had that spark.

They are a military family and part of my former church family and this is the week that marks a special birthday of sorts for my own family-both Mr. Wonderful’s sobriety birthday and anniversary of when the bottom fell out of our world. So there was a lot going on in my head and my heart during this service.

From my vantage point at the front, all I could see was the family that was left behind. Trying to celebrate his life well-lived while really just barely hanging on. They were alternating between bewilderment and just raw heartbreak. That is a painful thing to stand in the sidelines of, not being able to do anything to help them or ease their pain.

Two years ago this was almost me. I was moments away from having to plan the funeral with military honors for my Mr. Wonderful, from having to raise four kids on my own, from feeling the absolute devastation that one must feel when their partner is just all of the sudden gone.

That terrible day when I nearly lost my partner and best friend was a rebirth of sorts. It gave me two extra years of memories and time that I am so grateful for. Since tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone, I suggest we all go and tell our loved ones how much we love them. Squeeze them tight and store away as many good times as we can. Take a note from a man who’s family is feeling a tremendous loss but who will be able to lean on memories of his life well lived: live full of love, laughter and celebration. Have faith. Take each sweet moment as it comes, work through the hard times, and love your family with everything you’ve got.

In memory of Casey Joe Bussett (1975-2015).

(Photo credit Meredith Shafer 2015) ©Copyright Meredith Shafer 2015

I would love to connect with you on Instagram and Twitter, come say hi!

Romance…Parent-Style

When you have four kids ages 11, 7, 4, and 1 it’s hard to make time for romance. Like other parents, we have other things going on besides just having kids. We have work and caregiving and household and extracurriculars and therapies and doctors appointments. Sometimes being all romantical is not even on the radar.

But I don’t want to wake up someday when all my babies are grownups and wonder who in the world this stranger is in my house. I have no desire to just have a roommate.

So we are attempting to bring the sexy back in whatever ways we can to our relationship. Mr. Wonderful has really picked up his game as of late. He’s started doing all those little things that he knows I will love or that he thinks will show me appreciation, and let me tell you–that stuff works!

I got this text recently and it just made my day: 

(It’s a dozen roses if you didn’t catch that!)

And then he bought me some ice cream sandwiches because he saw I was running low. This doesn’t sound like a big deal to the outside observer but to me it’s huge! I like to end my day taking a bath with an ice cream sandwich. If I’m out I will go all un-caffeinated on you.

Don’t judge, it’s how I roll. 

And because he’s been home more than I have lately, he’s been doing a large portion of laundry–the bane of my existence. That is sexy folks!

We are trying to get back in the habit of a weekly date night, even if it’s on a Wednesday at noon since that’s when we have childcare. Babysitters could bankrupt us if we didn’t.  

 (Evidence of actual Date Night: we went out for sushi sans children)

We’re attempting to remind each other why we fell in love in the first place. 

This wasn’t by any agreement or conscious decision on our part. It just seems to be happening and like all cycles, feeds into itself creating more romance which creates more opportunities for romance. So we’re going with it.

Because I actually like this guy and I’d like to keep him around for quite awhile. 

 (Photo credit Meredith Shafer 2015) ©Copyright Meredith Shafer 2015

I would love to connect with you on Instagram and Twitter-come say hi!